I have acquired a traveling companion, a rambunctious young hobbit named Lilyberry. She was curious about exploring the world beyond the edges of the Shire, so I allowed her to accompany me on a trip to Imladris.
Upon securing the safety of the Last Homely House, she became most strident about some of the dangers faced in the High Moor.
“See the world, she said,” Lilyberry complained to anyone who would listen, stabbing her finger at me. A dwarf looked at her sympathetically and handed her his pipe. She looked at it and talked louder. “O, and the world has GREAT BIG BEARS VIF TEEF LIKE DIF. And flies, flies with giant needly sucker things that-”
I interrupted her tirade and pointed out that it was good to broaden her horizons. Particularly since the rest of her was rather broad.
“Yer callin’ me fat,” exclaimed Lilyberry loudly.
“Wide,” I suggested, motioning for her to keep her voice down. A pair of scholars looked over at us, frowning. “Well nourished?”
Lilyberry patted her paunch and rear. “I,” she announced, “am a well-shaped figure of hobbit feminity shape. Not all… drawn and stretched-out lookin’ like an elf.”
It went downhill from there. She found it necessary to take up smoking for the first time in Lord Elrond’s house and started retching. I counted it a blessing when she procured a bottle of Dorwinion wine and fell asleep.
HHHAARGHHKK.
